If you have a significant other and also love to spend time in little space this is the question that must have populated your thoughts – how to tell my partner about abdl? As many of you probably know by now, it is very difficult to get your partner into the abdl lifestyle and the various ageplay relationship dynamics. They might seem reluctant as a result of having certain misconceptions, or they might have difficulties exploring new and uncharted territories that require emotional investment and a degree of adaptation. Nevertheless, this article tries to shed light on the best practices for bringing up this topic to your significant other, having an open conversation, and highlighting the important facts regarding ageplay, age regression, and abdl.
Although the abdl community has been growing steadily over the last couple of years, there is still a fair amount of stigma associated with age regression, regardless of whether or not it includes erotic undertones. Ageplay is a broad conceptual niche which means different things to different people, but enough similarities have emerged that we can feel confident in making certain distinctions. Learning these distinctions for yourself can help you communicate things through with your partner, as you explain what you feel passionate about.
Try to understand yourself first!Well, how do I tell my partner about abdl? What is the first step?
The first thing you need to go over, before involving your partner at all, is acknowledging your appeal towards certain elements of the ageplaying lifestyle. Being open with yourself is an important prerequisite for being open with your partner.
Know exactly what you like, and conversely, what you don’t. Understand what attracts you to the abdl lifestyle, and for what reason. Be cognizant of the extent to which ageplay affects other areas in your life, and the degree of your own approval. In order for certain behaviors and habits to be able to ricochet into the relationship, you first need to fully acknowledge them as an individual.
Browse our collections of abdl jumpsuits, diaper panties, and adult baby pajamas, and try to get in touch with your feelings – what draws you towards this lifestyle, and how do you feel about abdl clothing, play and childhood routines of innocence, carefree and comfort?
Make sure to realize that affection towards the abdl lifestyle exists on a spectrum. While stigma has painted a picture of the grotesque, heavily caricaturizing this lifestyle for those who are unfamiliar with it, there is quite a lot of nuance in how people enjoy adult baby play and age regression.
Realize that there is a large abdl community of fully functioning grownups who allow themselves to behave and act like children. This will help you offer your partner a different perspective of how consenting adults can build and maintain relationships, centered on a certain kink.
What are abdl, ageplay and age regression?
The abbreviation abdl stands for adult baby diaper lovers, whereas the concept of ageplay indicates roleplaying in which an individual or a couple regress to a certain age. Age regression, however, is the psychological phenomenon of adults feeling and acting as if they were children. But let me provide some additional context outside of these boring and dry distinctions.
Most often than not, abdl and age regression have to do with psychological adaptation to certain traumatic events or stressors of everyday life. This means that nine out of ten the practice doesn’t involve anything sexual. Instead, by dressing for a certain age, and behaving like a certain age, adults embrace childlike traits and qualities.
They act and feel innocent, curious, and childlike in mannerisms, as well as tone of voice and behavior. The process is referred to as age regression, and the space in which adults find themselves to be during this process is affectionately called little space.
What is little space?
Little space is an emotional state in which people allow themselves to be vulnerable, cared for, and treated as if they were children. In a relationship, the adult child, or the adult baby would look up for a mommy or a daddy, or simply put a caregiver, who is there to provide a sense of security and protection, all the while offering unconditional affection.
Individually, the abdl lifestyle is expressed through abdl clothing, be that adult onesies, diaper panties or abdl overalls, and a series of activities suitable for certain ages. These include playing with toys, filling in coloring books, being read to stories, or simply being put to bed.
Ageplay apparel, in this case, along with routines and activities, is there to support a coping mechanism for the stressors of daily life. Reverting to little space, indeed, is a way to wash away the anxieties and worries and experience a more secure headspace.
How about the erotic side of ageplay?
Some people embrace abdl clothing as a way to experiment with power dynamics with a relationship. Occasionally, erotic fantasies are played out. However, it is very important to note that these fantasies are enacted between two consenting adults and they do not involve affection towards the biological child, but rather the childlike qualities like innocence and curiosity that adults undoubtedly possess.
This niche of the ageplaying lifestyle is often abbreviated as ddlg, which stands for dominant daddy / little girl. While the clothing is more provocative, it still has many shared elements with abdl clothing, whether it be abdl onesies, skirts, pajamas and dungerees.
What if my partner disapproves of abdl?
Your partner can drop hints that indicate disapproval of abdl or ageplay in general, but don’t let these comments discourage you. Many times, people are ignorant of the ways in which partners can interact, and to cover up for this ignorance stigma develops around certain behaviors that are outside of the norm.
Remember, you need to demystify a kink in order to know how your partner truly feels. Otherwise, you might not realize that one of you is completely off the page when talking about the same thing. Try to clear up any misconceptions before moving the conversation forward.
The best way to achieve this is by asking questions, and being a good listener. Try to learn what your partner knows about abdl and ageplay, so that you can fill in the gaps, or tackle misinformation head on.
How to bring up the conversation about abdl with your partner?
By now, you are able to understand and appreciate the broader context of abdl, the ageplaying lifestyle and the abdl community. So how do you bring this topic up for a conversation?
First of all, ask what your partner knows about abdl, and ask how he feels about certain elements of ageplay that you find appealing. You don’t have to share everything, but rather offer talking points that revolve around a single aspect at a time.
Hopefully, if your partner is open-minded and caring, this invitation will be considered and the dialogue will continue. From there onward, you can reveal more elements from the abdl lifestyle that excite you, and try to address all of the misunderstandings and the resistance that your partner might be dealing with.
If everything goes well, ask your partner if you can incorporate at least one habit or behavior into your relationship, and go slowly from there. After all, nobody wants to see their significant other change overnight, and slow adaptation is always healthier than abrupt shifts in relationship dynamics.
You can introduce a single piece of abdl clothing, or try a fun activity that involves both of you, where certain childlike elements of your personality are allowed to manifest.
Soon enough, the relationship dynamic will adapt, and you will slowly take things from there. Remember to be open, honest, and never demanding or entitled. These things take time, so make sure to embrace patience as you discover new horizons with your significant other.